Once Again

I can feel it,

I can feel my blood heating, boiling.

The pressure inside my veins increase

The rage flowing, the impulses taking control.

Bit by bit I lose the reason, everything becomes black.

Then all starts.

I wake up from the trance, I open my eyes,

The impulses, the rage, disappears

It’s all over.

Nevertheless something doesn’t feel right.

I can’t remember...

What is that smell, what is that feeling?

All I hear is a dripping,

All I fell is cold,

Why am I in the bathroom, why am I in front of the mirror.

Again the dripping, the feeling of fainting away.

Then darkness again.

Something wake me up, something wet.

I’m on the floor, bleeding on the inside,

Bleeding on the outside, then I understood everything.

That dripping, my own blood, that smell, my own blood...

Those feelings, my body without his essence.

My blood becomes tears, and those tears pain.

I whish to get ride of it, such an agony...

I can hear it, in my head,

The screams, the sorrow.

I can feel it,

The scars tattooed in my skin, the blood.

They want to bleed once again...

You Must Feel

Dead or alive

Pain or pleasure

Hate or love

Strong or weak

What is one without the other?

You must live to die

You must feel pain to know the pleasure

You must hate to love

You must feel the weakness to know you are strong now

If you feel only one how do you know how the other feels?

I hated lot of people and I loved one person

I feel the pain of life everyday but that person gave me pleasure

I was weak, sensitive, now I'm strong, cold

I'm alive just to know that I'm going to die

What's the reason to keep living?

Life is good... if you are strong

If you are weak life consumes you

A story always has an end but...

Sometimes that end is the start of a new one

Let’s see how this story ends...

Dreaming, Living, Suffering Bleeding, Feeling, Dying But never crying

My dreams are nightmares

My life is suffering and pain

My pain is blood and death

My blood makes me feel

My feelings are my nightmares

And those nightmares are my reality

A reality made of blood and deaths

Pain and suffering

A real apocalypse

A reality dominated by shadows

Fears and memories

Reigned by YOU!... the reason

Of my nightmares...

I hold all this, and I smile

While I bleed by the inside

Until... I can't anymore

Then...

My skin breaks, my smile dissapear

I bleed by the outside

But after all this

I still can't cry

I can't talk

I can't find tears

For all these feelings

Killing Some Time

Alcohol, drugs, sex and more alcohol

So beautiful, so funny, so unhealthy

Why are these tentative things so fucking…

Prohibited?

Why all the things that makes this world

More bearable, more easy are so fucking

Prohibited?

I mean everybody says that this world

This reality sucks, and just when,

We found things to enjoy this life a little more

What do they do? They just…

Fucking prohibits them

I want them, I need them, and I must have,

Them…

They are so perfect, so addictive so strong

Alcohol, drugs, sex and more alcohol

Who has never taste them and didn’t love them

They are not for everyone, but everyone loves them

Your life just has to be fucked up enough

And then you will enjoy them

The prohibition will just disappear

And you will enjoy them as you ever enjoyed something

You and Me

Go ahead, do it

Kill me!

I just... I just wanted some kind of revenge

You don't understand...

I was desperate

Have you ever felt desperate?

I have lost everyone I ever loved

I’m standing against eternity all alone

Can you think a worst hell?

I wasn't thinking

I just... I didn't care anymore

Do you know how it's like?

When you just don't give a damn

It’s like... being dead already

Just go ahead, do it

I know what's is like

Now we are the same, you and me

I know how it is

Walking around with something evil inside

It is just too bad you won’t do the right thing

And kill yourself

Two last good things

Killing you and killing myself

Long Night

The night started
The radio automatically switch's on
The thoughts appear
The pain, the screams, the guilty are raising
The blood starts to bleed out of my body
The pain, the screams, the guilty start to decrease, the radio it's muted and the night continues
I go back to bed
Something's wrong
I start to roll in bed one hour, 2 hours, 3 hours
The radio wasn't muted just lowered it's volume and the blood starts to bleed out of my body again until I got dry and I faint in my bed.

Last seconds

The sun is hiding,
I can see it hiding from me
1, 2, 3 little spots of light
1, 2, 3 lasts minutes of peace
The moon is rising
I can see it rising for me
And with her
The sorrow, the empty, the silence

I can’t see anymore,
My eyes are useless
Lost in my own darkness
I can’t hear a noise,
My ears are useless
Sounds lost in my mind
I can’t scream for help,
My mouth is useless
Lost in the silence of my soul

I’m my worst enemy
All this anger inside of me
I’m my own poison
All this rage inside of me
I’m my own end
This self-destructive attitude

This is my last story but not my last pain
This is my last scream but not my last suffering
I finally found my perfect overdose...